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Saving sunni won Book of the Month at BDSM Book Reviews!

We’re so excited!! Saving sunni is August’s Book of the Month at BDSM Book Reviews! They are a great site with lots of really good BDSM book recommendations. Check them out if you haven’t already!

 

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Posted by on September 11, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

Need advice on book title

Does anybody want to weigh in on the title for our second Siren book? The premise is a rock star who enters a D/s relationship with two dominants. Her scene name will be “falcon.” Do you like:

1. The Doms of Falcon’s Fantasy

2. The Masters of Falcon’s Fantasy

3. The Diva and her Doms

Any feedback? Other suggestions? We’ll be happy to hear any thoughts on the topic.

 
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Posted by on September 4, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

Geek Chick Radio Interview

We were very fortunate to be invited to do an interview on Geek Chick Radio (www.geekchickradio.com) on Thursday night. Thanks so much, DJ and Sherry, for the opportunity to come and chat with you. Two very funny ladies!! And they have extended the entries for the giveaways – one copy of each of our books and two swag packs featuring chainmail jewelry (bracelet and earrings) along with trading cards and bookmarks (plus more chainmail) from our books.

Also yesterday we were the featured guest bloggers (well, Reggie was, to be honest) on Scorching Book Reviews’ BDSM Appreciation Month (http://www.scorchingbookreviews.blogspot.com/?zx=de78b2844e78f53a). Go check out his post “Not Every Dom Has a Helicopter.” He’s gotten some really good, thoughtful comments on the blog. Feel free to “encourage” him to start blogging more often on our new group blog, www.naughtyeverafter.wordpress.com!

If anyone is in the Dallas area, we’ll be in town this weekend for The Romance Convention at the Sheraton on N. Olive St. Shoot us a message if you’d like to get together!!

 

 
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Posted by on August 11, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

FetishCon

So we spent the weekend in Tampa at FetCon. I like Tampa. It has a nice feel to it, a great Aquarium, some interesting places to visit (historic Ybor) and history (which we heard about on our Segway tour – fun!!! I highly recommend it). And, of course, Tampa Bay and the Gulf of Mexico.

Not that we’ve really gotten to see the Bay or the Gulf when we’re there. It’s sadly hard to get to when you’re downtown with no transportation. We did a boat tour from the Aquarium last year, and that was fun. We saw a few dolphins and got to ride on a BOAT (which, when you live in Denver, is a distressingly rare occurrence).

This year we got to do something new and different. On Saturday morning we were picked up by very sweet and wonderful fellow Omnific author Allison Oburia and taken to the monthly meeting of the Tampa RWA. They actually allowed us to talk for about an hour about fictional versus real BDSM, our writing process and our books. They even listened! And asked questions!! It was a wonderful experience. Thanks, Allison!!

Fetcon itself was fun, as always. I love the Tampa Hyatt Regency. The hot tub is outside, on the fifth floor, and almost always has fun and interesting people in it. There are models walking around with very little clothing on, always a stimulating sight. There were several furries (see Tymber Dalton’s Facebook page for a picture of her with the Bondage Bunny). I love furries for some obscure reason. They make me smile. Which, I assume, is what they’re going for.

Next year we’re hoping to get to Fantasy Fest on Key West. We’ve heard it’s a great party. Anybody been there? Any advice on where to stay?

It was a good weekend, all in all. Met some very nice people, saw lots of people we only get to see once a year, and got to hang out in a hot tub in Florida. What else can you ask for? Apart, maybe, from a few alligators and maybe a whale…

 
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Posted by on August 8, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

Mentoring? Coaching? Power Exchange??

So I had a job interview last night. It was for a company I’ve never heard of before, ActionCOACH Business Coaches. I’ve heard of business coaches before, but I had to smile as they went through their business model.

Of course it’s very different than an erotic power exchange relationship, for obvious reasons. But the similarities are there. You sit down with your coach/mentor, decide what your priorities are and what you need to do to get there. You spell out the steps you’re going to take and the results you want. You check in frequently and give updates on your progress. And, most importantly, you celebrate your accomplishments.

It’s different than having a boss. Bosses are concerned with their goals, not yours (generally). You have goals and assignments, but the end result is more important than the process or what you’ve learned/how much you’ve grown in the process. And while they might reward you occasionally for your achievements, they don’t tend to be interested in your personal goals.

And then, of course, there’s the intimacy and connection. I’ve known people who’ve gotten very close to their business coaches. But in my opinion nothing can equal the connection between two people who share love, playfulness, accountability, and a sense of purpose. It just doesn’t get any better than that.

 
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Posted by on July 26, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

Fourth book – First Draft done!

The first draft of our fourth book (the second in the Clifftop Fantasies series) is done!! It look a little longer than we’d hoped, because we had some big chainmail orders to fill. And we’ve had some of our biggest shows of the year in the last month (Denver Pridefest, that unnamed Denver fetish event from It’s Only Kinky the First Time, Rocklahoma, etc.). And we got to go to RomCon! RomCon was (as always) a lot of fun. Reggie and I decided to go “in costume,” sort of. He wore his leathers and I wore a corset. It got some attention, but unfortunately nobody asked for sample bondage. I don’t know if Reggie was disappointed, but I was!

There was a leatherman’s dinner at the hotel on Saturday night, so there were lots of good-looking guys in leather wandering around. We even had a couple of them come in and hang out at our table at the booksigning! It was kind of fun.

Anyway, the fourth book is tentatively called Falcon’s Fantasy and we think it’s our best one so far. After it goes through our editing I may post a little teaser. And what we’ve got planned for our next project is going to be really cool! It shouldn’t take as long as Falcon did, either. Back to work!

 
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Posted by on July 23, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

Predatory behavior in the BDSM community

You hear a lot about predators in the BDSM community. It’s something I’d always wondered about too. Whenever we go to clubs, I look around at the single guys and wonder, “Are you a predator?”

The funny thing is, I was never sure what would constitute a predator. Were they serial killers? Rapists? You didn’t really hear about women falling prey in the community to things like that. (But maybe you wouldn’t; how would I know?) I’d heard about bottoms who got so into the play that they wouldn’t call a safeword and came away with actual physical harm, but did that constitute predation? Or a lack of experience? Or so intense a session they lost their common sense?

In Shanna Katz’s (a well known sex educator) review of “50 Shades of Grey,” she makes an excellent point about predatory behavior in the BDSM community:

I have some issues with the idea that he wouldn’t even consider playing with her (or anyone else, for that matter) a few times before bringing up the idea of a full time (or full weekend?) slave contract. I feel like if someone did that in our local community (“If you’re interested in me, you must sign a 24/7 contract before we can see if you like this and if we are compatible together”), we would call out that person for predatory behavior (actually, this has happened in our community, and said person was banned from multiple dungeons for poaching on newbies to the scene, and contracting them to his “house” without allowing them to get their footing first). (http://shannakatz.com/2012/07/05/book-review-fifty-shades-of-grey/)

We were also at a discussion group at our local dungeon a couple of weeks ago where the topic was Predators in the Community. I was really curious to hear what they had to say, specifically if there were any real stories that I hadn’t heard. What they had to say was very interesting, but not nearly as scary as I’d always thought.

Basically, what people label as “predatory” behavior seems, more often than not, to be poor relationship skills. These are people who don’t negotiate well (or don’t disclose everything they intend to do in a scene), play harder than their partners are capable or willing to play, or don’t bother to take their partners’ needs into consideration. They are not necessarily out to hurt people. They’re just selfish and don’t care enough about their partners.

I asked the club owner if there were many actual psychopathic predators who came through the club  looking for victims. She said that she could usually tell when people called her for information whether they were interested in the lifestyle or just wanted places to pick people up. The ones who seemed to her to have bad motives were not given the address of the cub or invited to attend.  Those who did seem okay to her and were allowed to attend the club generally didn’t result in any negative experiences. The few times someone was questionable they were not allowed to return.

Now, I thought that was pretty interesting. Public dungeons can seem like dangerous places, especially if you’ve never been to one. It helps to realize that they’re full of people who know a lot about the lifestyle and are watching new people to see how they act and what their motives are. So BDSM clubs are actually much safer than regular clubs for just that reason. They are very concerned with public image and so are self policing. Nobody at a nightclub is watching people flirt with you and worrying about their motives, at least nobody that you didn’t bring with you!

I feel a little better knowing that there aren’t likely to be psychopaths wandering around our public dungeon (even if some of the regulars kind of look… well, I won’t go there!). Not that I go there to meet new partners. But that’s the purpose of a community–to look out for each other–isn’t it?

 
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Posted by on July 7, 2012 in Uncategorized